Peaks and Valleys = Values
Today I am sharing an illuminating exercise I learned from my friend and mentor, Jessica Agneessens, called Peaks and Valleys.
Throughout our life, we have high points and low points - events where we can recall being so viscerally overjoyed and ecstatic, or perhaps content and happy, and other moments where we were crushed, disappointed and heartbroken. Though these two highs and lows may not look like they are connected, if you look deep enough you can see that they reveal your values - when something you value was present, you were happy, and when something you value was missing, you were unhappy.
To do this exercise, draw a horizontal timeline on a sheet of paper. How far you go back is up to you - it can go from childhood in bigger chunks, or perhaps focus on the last ten years. Start at the beginning, and begin to jot down a specific memory or instance - if it was a "high point” draw it above the line, and a “low point” goes below the line. How high or how low it goes depends on how greatly it affected you.
Once you have your memories, or dots, throughout your timeline, connect the dots in chronological order. You will start to see a mountain range of sorts appear, with peaks, valleys, and in between spots.
Now, go through and jot down again, either next to the event or in a blank space on the page, what those peaks and valleys show you about a value you hold — is it freedom, closeness, support, loyalty, honesty, consistency, etc. You may start to see a pattern, for example, one of the times you felt happiest was when you had a large amount of freedom, and one of the times you felt the lowest, you felt constrained or had a lack of freedom.
I hope that by the end of it, you’ll have a handful of values that you can then take forward in your life when evaluating a situation, analyzing going into a partnership or a job, and making decisions. The more you can be in alignment with your values and what’s truly important to you, the more you will flow on your path and have a greater sense of contentment.
“Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are.”